Saturday, August 22, 2009

Family Ties



The weekend reconciliation meeting with my parents is done and dusted. And it went off without a hitch. There was no stress, nobody feeling out of place or akward. No talking about the past (in a bad way), just a lot of talking about the missing years and the good stuff from the past when were still a family.

It was very weird, because it wasn't weird. It was like we had only seen or spoken to each other a few days ago. There was lots of laughter, smiles, happiness and even a few tears. There were hugs and I love you's and generally just a family who had missed out on many years and who had no interest in the past, just in building the future.

I told my mother I loved her. She told me she loved me too. It was the first time I could actually remember telling her and meaning it. It was the first time I could remember her saying it back and it feeling wonderful.

She's not an over affectionate woman my mum. Where as I am. She hasn't changed. She is still the mum that I remember. Blunt and to the point, no mucking around and no bullshit. And I think I am at a point in my life where I can accept that and appreciate this amazing woman for who she is. I never thought of myself as anything like her, but after the weekend, I can see much of her in myself and its all the good stuff.

My relationship with my dad is going to be a tiny bit harder to cement I think. But I expected that and I am not afraid of the hard work that it will entail. I happen to think that it is worth it and if I can win back the respect of both my parents then I will be a happy and fullfilled woman.

My children were thrilled to see not only their aunt and their cousin, but also my sisters wife and their grandparents. My parents were equally as thrilled. It was so awesome to watch my youngest daughter throw herself at her grandparents and hug them like she wanted to squeeze the stuffing out of them. My middle daughter was just as happy, although she seemed a little reserved at the beginning. She soon warmed up to them and the chatter just never stopped.

Something that my mother did for me on the weekend, bought tears to my eyes. She has always kept everything to do with our lives from the day we were born and she brought down my baby scrapbook and sent it home with me. I don't mind admitting that I shed a tear or two when I read the names in some of the cards. People I hadn't seen for years, some that were no longer with us and others that I still kept in contact with.

That gesture, to me, cemented the fact that my family is slowly, piece by piece, rebuilding itself and there is no doubt in my mind that this will happen in its own time and none of us are in a hurry to push it and make it happen any faster than it is. Slow and steady wins the race. And that's the way that we are taking it.

I also left there with a beautiful plant from my mother which now takes pride of place on my kitchen bench. I had made her and my dad a scrapbook full of photos of the children and their great grand daughter. They were thrilled with it and I told them that the empty parts of the album were for future get together and new memories that I have no doubt we will make.

Thankyou to everyone who supported me through this. Especially to Lia and Rae, when both these ladies lost their mummys, it really spurred me into action and I will be forever grateful to them for their love and support.

I'll leave you with some photo's of the day....
















Posted by Lisa Jane :: 9:47 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post / Read Comments

---------------oOo---------------